whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
