The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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