I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
