like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
