Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
