While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize