Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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