he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
