1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
