He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
