Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
