she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize