it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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