You made me cry and you don't even care
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
