I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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