I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
