I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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