Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize