Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
