Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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