I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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