Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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