apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
