I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
