who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize