what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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