we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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