I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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