My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize