break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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