nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
