Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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