nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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