my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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