How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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