I want to stick my p in your. b.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
