Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
