I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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