I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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