dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
