The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
