when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
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I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Floor bacon is actually really good
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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