i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
