I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
