On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
