508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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