He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
