If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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