Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
