i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
People in love make me want to vomit
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
