We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
