ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
