White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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