Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
