No awkward lesbian experiences without me
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
