every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
