someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
