if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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