i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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