somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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