Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
