Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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