did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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