Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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